JOKES!!!

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
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Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love
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Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
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Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
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Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon:No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
anything!
Son :That's why I say she's no good!
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Manager :Sorry, but I can't give u a job.I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact, I'm just the right person
in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!
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Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such masterpieces?"
College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B."
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"Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when u told her u are
the only child?" "She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"
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Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."